Monday, September 3, 2012

kill.thatdamnpatient.com

kill.thatdamnpatient.com

Sowing Your Wild Oats

Posted: 02 Sep 2012 10:14 PM PDT

I loved my teenage years, I had more hair (in the right places), had more time (though it didn’t feel like it at the time) and my waste size was half of what it is now largely thanks to a fascination with running that seems so foreign these days (the site of me naked in the mirror makes me dry wretch for a minute before a shower) Then there’s the fun …. lots of fun (and yes, by fun I mean sex)

I’m pretty sure most of you miss having fun too, although you won’t admit it these days largely because of regrets.* Well, I’d like to think that there was something to be gained from the years spent listening to Third Eye Blind , The Bare Naked Ladies and The Offspring with all the “fun” that could be had.
And it turns out there is! Huzzah for those of us who had “fun” before they tried to make it illegal! Recently a group at UC Berkley spent a couple of months observing 2 groups of mice, one group genetically programmed to be monogamous and the second programmed to be bat shit crazy raving sex addicts! Their findings are very interesting, for one the promiscuous group tended to have better acquired immunity but more importantly they also managed to change their genetic code at a DNA level so that much of the acquire immune data is transferred to their offspring, this presumably gives the bat shit crazy sex addicts a survival advantage because they are less likely to get infections.

So rest assured all the mistakes you have made in the past and will make in the future are/will be of some benefit, infact apparently some of us are pretty much genetically destined to cheat on our spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends, as a recent study from Binhampton University has found that variations in our DRD4 gene is the reason why we cheat sleep around and can’t commit (well to be completely honest, by “we” I mean you, I’m still single and don’t suffer from the guilt related to cheating etc) and while this may give your progeny some survival advantage, your genetic variations have also pretty much been linked to alchoisim, ADHD and according to the chinese shitty driving …….

* By the way if you’re still a teen and reading this, don’t smoke, drink in moderation(will never happen), get through school, don’t go to Dubai (waste of money) and yes ask her out, she may say no but you’ll regret not doing it …..
Posted by at