Oral sex…… it’s fun, it’s interesting ….. and it rarely if every results in problems 9 months down the line ……… or a lynching on your wedding day ……..
However just ’cause you’re not really “doing it”, doesn’t mean you’re not going to get pregnant; that’s right oral sex can get you pregnant, if you’re that unlucky.
Take the story of a bartender from Lesotho, South Africa. The teen who was born with no vagina (or Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome) was caught by her brothers while giving her boyfriend head. The brothers decided that beating her into a brain bleed, collapsed lung and killing her boyfriend wasn’t enough so they went on to stab her twice abdomen and send both to the hospital after they made sure he was dead.
She was taken to the OR where surgeons fixed the lung and treated the brain bleed, they then explored the stomach and found no stomach content but decided to wash the stomach and the rest of the abdomen just in case. Ten days later the girl was discharged and eventually made a full recovery.
Jump 278 days (9 months) down the line and the girl is brought into the emergency room again with abdominal swelling and severe pain (now this was the 80’s in South Africa ….. they barely had ultrasound so whenever someone came in with something strange the patient was opened up and they had a quick look inside). When they explored her abdomen they found one big ass uterus, a cesarian was perfomed and she had a healthy baby boy …… who like his mother had no vagina.
This left the doctors scratching their head for a while ….. until she told them why she got stabbed in the first place. Her deceased boyfriends sperm had travelled to her uterus from her stomach thanks to the two holes made by her brothers.
Now I don’t know what’s more amusing the fact that she was/is still technically a virgin or the fact that her brothers got her pregnant……. and no this isn’t an urban legend, it was reported in 1988 in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology and the surgeon involved was Dowe A Vurkyl who has published another 40 articles since then and still works in Zimbabwe and was at the time a Junior resident.
Below are a couple of snippets from the article.
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Case report:
Under general anaesthesia, laparotomy was performed through an upper midline abdominal incision to reveal two holes in the stomach. These two wounds had resulted from the single stab-wound through the abdominal wall. The two defects were repaired in two layers. The stomach was noted empty at the time of surgery and no gastric contents were seen in the abdomen. Nevertheless, the abdominal cavity was lavaged with normal saline before closure. The condition of the patient improved rapidly following routine postoperative care and she was discharged home after 10 days.
Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain. Abdominal examination revealed a term pregnancy with a cephalic fetal presentation. The uterus was contracting regularly and the fetal heart was heard. Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethral meatus and between the labia minora. An emergency lower segment caesarean section was performed under spinal anaesthesia and a live male infant weighing 2800 g was born…
…While closing the abdominal wall, curiosity could not be contained any longer and the patient was interviewed with the help of a sympathetic nursing sister. The whole story did not become completely clear during that day but, with some subsequent inquiries, the whole saga emerged.
The patient was well aware of the fact that she had no vagina and she had started oral experiments after disappointing attempts at conventional intercourse. Just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practised fellatio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover. The fight with knives ensued. She had never had a period and there was no trace of lochia after the caesarean section. She had been worried about the increase in her abdominal size but could not believe she was pregnant although it had crossed her mind more often as her girth increased and as people around her suggested that she was pregnant. She did recall several episodes of lower abdominal pain during the previous year. The young mother, her family, and the likely father adapted themselves rapidly to the new situation and some cattle changed hands to prove that there were no hard feelings.
Comments
A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract. It is known that spermatozoa do not survive long in an environment with a low pH (Jeffcoate1975), but it is also known that saliva has a high pH and that a starved person does not produce acid under normal circumstances (Bernards & Bouman 1976). It is likely that the patient became pregnant with her first or nearly first ovulation otherwise one would expect that inspissated blood in the uterus and salpinges would have made fertilization difficult. The fact that the son resembled the father excludes an even more miraculous conception
Take home message: oral sex won’t get you pregnant unless your brother(s) get involved.
